This calls for a chili rubric

I can’t in good faith start reviewing bowls of chili if I don’t have a solid rubric with which to compare them. Otherwise, I’ll be having a bad day and will struggle to enjoy what could have been a very good bowl of chili unless I stick with a consistent set of guidelines.

My rating system will be five-fold and will include the following chili attributes:

  • Appearance
  • Texture
  • Flavor
  • The Food Dance Factor
  • Overall satisfaction

Let’s build on these.

Appearance

Do I even want to eat this bowl of chili when I look at it? Does it have a nice, intense color? Does it look dense and delicious, or gloopy and gross? Are the toppings placed on top with care or thrown on top in a careless way? These are all of the utmost importance when first looking at a bowl of chili.

Texture

What goes through my head as I take the first bite? What’s the mouthfeel? Do the ingredients all come together in a glorious way or is there some unpleasant texture creeping in?

Flavor

Is there a delicate balance of saltiness, sweetness, and spice? Or does one overpower the other? Are there flavors that I can’t recognize and more importantly, do I like them?

The Food Dance Factor

Highly subjective but simply determined. Do I move my body in a way that resembles dancing when I eat this chili?

Overall satisfaction

Do I need any more food to feel satiated? Will I come back to this place for the sole purpose of ordering this chili again? If not, and I find myself here again, will I order this chili again?

Conclusion

I am no chili expert, but I do have taste buds. Onward!


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